We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
