Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
