This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
