Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I AM VODKA MAN
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
