epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
