Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I supernannyed him into submission
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
