I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
