Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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