I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
