There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
