so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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