Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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