Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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