i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
