He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
