yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
