Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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