hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
