Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
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