nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
