Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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