Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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