is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
