Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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