i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That accounts for only three of the penises
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Randomize
