What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
