I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
