Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
