Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize