is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you made out with another girl for some wings
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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