Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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