why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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