I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
