Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
