did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
