You're my little dorito
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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