shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i think i just lost a toe
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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