Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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