vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize