Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
