We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Drunk is not a location!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
