I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
