you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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