I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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