It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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