This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
