hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
