Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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