I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
