I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
