Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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