why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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