went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
