Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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