Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
