he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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