two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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