so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
