umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
