what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
