totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
